Well
it has been a whole month since I started my Social Experiment and it
has certainly been an eye-opener. I knew it wouldn't be easy but I
didn't expect it to be quite as difficult as I found it. I never
realised how much responsibility I took on the behalf of people
whether asked for or off my own bat.
Indeed
I have been doing this for so long it is nigh on impossible to stop.
Have you ever been told by a friend that you should just say no or
that your overdoing it? I know I have and I admit I mostly say yes I
am trying to take it easy. However I never actually took stock of
what I was actually doing.
To
actually make a conscious effort to restrain myself from what I might
normally do has been pretty exhausting. It has been like an itch I
cannot scratch. It was not too bad at the beginning of the month but
after a week or two I was emotionally see-sawing. One moment when
something hadn't been done I would give an amused smile and (yes I
know it's not very mature) a look of triumphant superiority of I told
you so. Next I would be snappy and want to throttle somebody and
scream 'For God's Sake why can't you just get on and do it.
This
might sound strange to people but the only thing I can try and equate
this with is a form of addiction. If you smoke imagine going cold
turkey and not smoking for a month or if your on a diet spending a
months work experience in a chocolatiers. The only problem is unlike
those two examples there are no patches, gum or low fat options to
take the edge off.
So
am I saying that I am addicted to helping people? Well I am not sure
I would go that far but I certainly take on responsibilities that I
perhaps shouldn't. Therefore why do I do so? Am I a natural leader?
Have I been trained into this habit over the years? Am I just an
interfering although well meaning busybody Or is it that I feel that
if I don't do it then it won't get done? Or maybe it is partly all of
them?
I
have to say that I don't know the answer. Nobody sees themselves as
others do. All I know is that the past month was extremely difficult.
By the end I had developed a mantra – Just wait till June – Just
wait till June. I have to admit that when the clock clicked over on
to June 1st my mind, body and spirit gave a huge sigh of
relief.
I
no longer feel like a pressure cooker about to burst. However as I
look over the past months events I wonder how much I will retain of
the lessons I have learnt. After all Birthdays were forgotten, bins
not put out and such like not done. Therefore it does reinforce the
idea that if I don't do it then it doesn't get done.
How
did you get on?
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