There Maybe Trouble Ahead.

Today I was reminded of an old sociological experiment I did once. The Experiment was brought about by a certain person's attitude. Being young and fancy free (yes I was young once) I and a friend used to go out to the pubs and clubs. Being younger than I am I felt a certain amount of responsibility for the said friend. Therefore I always ensured that I did not consume the same amount of Alcohol as she did. In addition to that I had at that time quite a high tolerance level to Alcohol. Whether I could do it nowadays I cannot say but if somebody will foot the bill I don't mind trying : )

Unfortunately my friends tolerance was not as great as mine was and believe me it showed. I won't go into detail but I assure you many a time I have not so much walked her home as half carried. As for beer goggles they were more like beer binoculars. This scenario carried on for many months and eventually I got fed up with it. I decided that for once she could be the carer and I would be the drunken patient.

With this end in mind and her being duly warned I intended to show her exactly what I had been putting up with for months. Funny enough she didn't seem to like the result for some reason. Maybe she was being a bit biased.

After drinking a very great deal of Alcohol I believe her first real problem to deal with was the fight that never was. A group of lads were annoying me so if I remember correctly I threatened to sort them out. I never got the chance however as she dragged me away somewhat hurriedly to my mind cannot imagine why.

Next she swears blind to this day that I jumped (yes jumped) from the top of the flight of stairs to the bottom landing feet first like a cat. Not bad in high heels methinks. Then again according to her I stood bolt upright and marched past the open mouthed Bouncers with a toss of my head and a comment that I wanted some fresh air. Well those places were very hot and smoky in those days before the cigarette ban.

Still under my own steam I continued through town only stopping to examine a pizza that somebody had thoughtfully left for me but I was again dragged away before I could eat any. She really was being a bit of a pain. Wasn't I allowed any fun at all?

Well if I wasn't able to eat, drink or dance anymore I might as well toddle off home. This led to a slight error in navigation. I was walking in a perfectly straight line when out of nowhere a wall jumped out in front of me. Honest to whatever deity you believe in. One moment it was to the side of me and then whoosh it appeared in front of me. Well obviously walking at a brisk pace there was no way I could avoid it.

I admit the next bit is slightly hazy but for the first time in my life I think I managed a somersault. I was upright before it snuck up into my way and I went over it toot sweet. However I didn't appear to break stride and continued onwards. I carried on chatting to my friend only to find that she was no longer with me. She was standing by the lamppost opened mouthed for some reason. We were only five minutes away from my residence and after some slight altercation with the moving keyhole we were back.

Next time I saw her she threatened never to go out with me again if I was going to drink like that. I replied why not after all she does it all the time and isn't fun. She replied no it wasn't and apparently went off the booze a bit for some accountable reason. I didn't see her drunk again for at least six months. At least when she was with me at any rate.

The reason for this trip down memory lane is I wondered what would happen these days if I tried The Experiment again. This time over a larger number of people and a longer period of time. It is often said that people do not see themselves as others see them. Well what if they could. The Mirroring Technique can be very useful in certain circumstances..It is a learning tool as many people find it easier to perform at task if somebody shows them rather than have it verbally explained.

Now there are as you know individuals that drive you crazy. Often friends, family members or colleagues do things that you know perfectly well they wouldn't do in other situations so why do they think it is acceptable to you. For example have you ever had a sandwich or a drink and they have come along and helped themselves without asking? I am sure you have; you may have even done it yourself. Would they think it was acceptable to go into their bosses office and eat their lunch or cross a restaurant and take food off another patrons plate? I doubt it very much.

I am not talking about teasing here that is a different thing altogether. I am talking about sheer lack of common courtesy or total thoughtlessness. How would they feel if they were on the receiving end? I wonder lets find out. I am proposing an experiment for say a month where I behave to people like they do to me. I am not starting it yet as I think fair warning should be given. Now the question is do you think that you are going to be okay as it won't affect you or do you need warning?

Watch this space.

Lily Oak

Lily Oak

Lily a blessed flower of Hope,

Of Birth, Faith and Purity

Oak gives you Strength to Cope,

Tree of Honour and Loyalty

Lily Oak is Pretty and Wise

Although she is yet Young

She buds with great Enterprise

And her triumphs are well sung.

She has a store, Hedge-witchery

Where bargains you can find

Plus live screening TV

To record what's on her Mind

At the moment she needs aid

and ask for small donation

To fulfil plans she's Made

For improving Communication

To spread the Pagan word

Across this Island Nation

By a method now preferred

By the younger Generation.

I trust this little poem

Will bring a smile Bright

For a lady who's a Gem

Don't be believe me - see her site.

http://hedge-witchery.co/

Why do they make out something is true when it isn't?

Success

The timing is rather ironic don't you think? A day after I put up my blog and told Mr Bin-man that if his boss doesn't sort out my bin there will be hell to pay I.e. if they can't deliver to me I shall send my rubbish direct to him a BIN arrives. The boss delivered it himself. He was just going to walk off so I hailed him through the window to see it was who I thought it was.

He said yes he was 'John Brickles'. Oh joy of joys after ignoring me for months the chap was here in person. Guess the threat of posting my rubbish to him worked! He said that 3 bins had been delivered and I said they hadn't. He then said there were extra bins at the end of the street which due to our strange estate is actually classed as a different street.

He tried to make out that the bins had been delivered to the door. Now that was correct in a couple of cases. However logically if the 3^rd one had been delivered to the door it would be there. He didn't seem to have an answer for that one. Apparently there is a policy of taking the bins away but not bringing them back. A bit daft if you ask me but there it is.

I said if they bring in a new policy perhaps they should inform people. He said its not a new policy it has always been like that and he has been a Bin-man for 10 years. I pointed out that I had lived here for 15 and it has never been this system. He wasn't able to answer that one either. He just reiterated that he had been on the rounds himself for 10 years and it was like this in lots of areas. I said well maybe it has in other areas but not here. He said yes it had and only registered disabled people got their bins returned. So I asked where was my neighbours bin the? Another answer he didn't have.

He said he would look into it. He said people should have numbers on the bins. This was another own goal since the one they had originally taken did have a number on it and due to a mistake it had my disabled neighbours number on it not mine. Therefore whichever system they were supposedly using his should have been brought back. I then pointed out that I now have a bin since he has brought me one but my neighbours either side still hadn't. Therefore couldn't they have some of the spare bins knocking around? Oh no that would be far too easy. He would have to go back to the office and I quote 'Look into it.'.

The next thing I tackled him about was the fact that often they didn't bring our recycling bags back. He said that was impossible as they emptied them straight into a bin so they never left the property. I said yes it was so he said they must of blown away. Now yes that is possible in a couple of cases but not the whole time. As for this never leave the property lark well I had an answer for that. Unfortunately by this time I was so cross about him trying to make out that this was all in my mind I forgot to mention it. If they never leave the property how come sometimes they bring back different coloured bags to the ones we put out? I suppose he would have said they got cold over night and changed colour.

Next I tackled him about the brown bin. My nice shiny brown bin which my mum had personally put numbers on top. This bin had been delivered to my door unlike the other one which he insisted they had. Maybe they had put it inside the brown one then sheesh. Anyway this was lovely brown bin and I thanked him for the delivery. However it would be really nice since they have delivered it to actually start emptying it. I mean that is rather the point of having one isn't it. Another no answer.

Frankly I am not impressed you don't bother to answer my messages, you make excuses and finally you make out that I am a liar because you have been doing this 10 years whereas I only have lived here for 15. Well I think your in the right job because your attitude is most definitely rubbish!

When do you stop fighting?

I recently took one of those fun quizzes. You know the sort what kind of animal, fairytale, book etc. would you be? This one was Which Classical novel are you? I got the adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Roughly the characteristics are the young at heart adventurer and have a great sense of injustice and can't keep mouth shut when you see some.

Normally these quizzes I take with a pinch of salt but this one was surprisingly accurate. It made me stop and think. I have been fighting injustice in some form or other most of my life to the point I am being to feel like it is a Flaw not a blessing in my character.  I don't mean marching to Downing Street or picketing or chaining myself to iron railings. I mean on the smaller everyday scale.

Many a time there has been a knock on my door from somebody asking for help. Generally it involves writing letters or making phone calls to some bureaucratic body or other. On other occasions it has been a more active stance.

These have included a walk out with co-workers when a boss was being particularly obnoxious and taking the Michael by making sure we were short staffed and then go off drinking. Adding insult to injury he then decided to come back and sit drinking at a nearby table and laugh whilst we struggled. I could write an essay on him so best leave it at that and only say he tried to force me out by cutting my hours from nearly full time down to three hours.

Another large fight was getting our estate cleaned up. This was a two part fight over a long period of time. One element was getting the green areas sorted. Now some people might not think that particularly an important thing. However this was becoming a real problem. On the one hand the over grown trees made it difficult to get a clear view of neighbours properties. Now this wasn't nosiness but a crime prevention issue. We had a crime problem at the time and we had a few break ins.

Fortunately I had not been burgled though somebody had been messing with my lock which I had to have replaced. The main problems were with people generally the elderly and infirm. They tended to be housed downstairs with easy access through the windows. Also it was getting to the time of year when people went away on holiday. An empty home is an easy target hence the need for a clear view.

The other major problem was the overgrowth of bushes onto paths. These bushes were the ones that had thorns and used to catch people as they passed. If you were walking slowly it wasn't too bad as you could turn sideways to avoid them. However if you were in a wheelchair,electric buggy or were pushing a pram you were really in danger of getting quite badly scratched.

After endless empty promises of we will look into it or it will be done soon after a couple of years waiting I got restless. Those that know me personally will know that as a rule I am the sort of person that plays by the rules. I wrote letters made phone calls and attended meetings both on my own and at community groups. I have even been to town meetings on some occasions.

Therefore I felt that after doing all that by the book and following all the civilised procedures and getting nowhere direct action was needed. Now some of you still might  think that I am over-exaggerating the problem. Well believe me you are wrong and I can prove it. The final straw came when I discover a weed that was taller than I am. I'm serious. Well that was it. I dug up the giant weed and with an assortment of other weeds and overgrown foliage I took it to the town hall. Making sure this wasn't going to be overlooked I popped into the local papers on the way. Believe it or not the picture below is the one of the smaller weed.

Another issue that I had to deal with regarding the estate is rubbish around and about. At that time we had recycling bins at the top of the street which they never seemed to bother emptying. We also have a walk way which includes sitting and bins. These bins however did not have bottoms in due to weather, age and hot items like cigarettes. Consequently if somebody did bother to put their rubbish in the bin provided rather than throw it into the bushes behind them it eventually came out the bottom.

Needless to say that whenever the wind blew and since we the estate is designed like a wind corridor was nearly every day rubbish blew everywhere. Again we had tried all the usual channels but to no avail.  A neighbour a lady in her early 80's and I spent the weekend going around picking up all the litter. On the Monday I opened the curtains and the place was covered again as if it hadn't been touched. I saw RED. I grabbed a bin liner and ran around picking up all sorts of rubbish from kebab meat to plastic bottles and cigarette butts to dog faeces. I dumped everything again at the town hall after chatting to the local papers of course and awaited the result.

Again the power of the press worked its magic. Unbelievably we had 8 people around the following morning cleaning up. The area looked quite pristine. Indeed within a short space of time we acquired new bins. These came with the added luxury of actually having bottoms without holes in. I felt quite spoilt. We do still have a problem with rubbish but with new bins and the removal of the recycling bins to a more suitable place it is tolerable.

Those are some of the problems I have fought for the good of the community as a whole. Now my mind is focussed more on a more immediate area. Now this might be a bit absurd but I am having a problem with my dustbin. The problem is it is conspicuous by its absence.  Now I know this is going to sound like teaching a granny to suck eggs but I would have thought that after taking a bin away you should bring it back. I know I know it is a bit unreasonable but there you have it.

The first time it happened I thought it was some sort of mistake. I assumed they had left it next door or something. When I couldn't find it I reported it gone. I was told it might have fallen into the machine; apparently this sometimes happens. They duly replace it the following week. Then believe it or not it went again.

Here is the list

Bin reported missing 27/3/14

Bin replaced 4/4/2014

Bin reported missing 24/4/14

Bin replaced 28/4/2014

Bin reported missing 15/5/14

I got a letter on the 15^th of May saying it would be looked into and a new bin ordered. I waited and waited but no bin. I rang up very cross to be informed that a bin had been delivered on the 22/5/14. Well mates it didn't come here.

The supervisor 'John Brickles' Erewash Borough Council hasn't bothered to contact me despite apparent promises to do so.  I have never actually managed to speak to him direct as the department never seems to have anybody in it that is able to answer a phone. I naturally left messages but he  doesn't answer messages on his machine either. So all my complaints are being fielded by the ladies manning the switchboard. Apparently the latest thing is that he was to come around and meet me and is going to ring for an appointment. Surprise Surprise no phone call.

I spotted a bin man today and asked if his boss was around but apparently he is busy on another area. The bin man who was very nice and I noticed actually picked up litter when he dropped it said that he had been transferred back to this area after 6 months on another round. It appears that the ones collecting around here are all newbies. Thanks Mr Bin-man that's more information from you in five minutes than I have had in 3 months from 'John Brickles' Erewash Council.

So yet again I am without a bin well when I say I am without a bin I mean we since my next door neighbour shares mine. Once again you have 3 households sharing one small bin which as you know is now only collected once a fortnight. Apart from the general inconvenience  of it all as we are now approaching summer it is becoming a hygiene risk.  Do I seriously have to put rubbish in a bag and go to the town hall (after chatting to the papers of course) again?

All this stress of the stupidest of things makes it very draining on what little energy I had. Maybe it is time to stop fighting.  Unless it is directly connected to myself I cannot cope. Indeed often I can't cope then. I am sorry folks if you want me to do stuff then it is a maybe not a definite. I set out this year with the objective that I am not going to do stuff because I feel obliged to but because I want to. It is six months now since I made that resolution and I am sticking to it. I am not going to chase around after people. I am tired of fighting.

Photographs from the Long Eaton Trader and Advertiser. Due to the age of the pictures not sure from which.

The Working Life – The Joys of Bar work.

A good friend of mine recently shared a post on Facebook. It was about things that only people had worked behind a bar would understand. This reminded me of a piece I wrote many moons ago (March 1992) for my English GCSE's at college. I was working at a nightclub called Minsky's at the time and this piece of work is based on that experience.

This is for you Alison

The Working Life – The Joys of Bar work.

As you walk through the doors into the club the heat hits you full on. It seems very dark apart from the revolving lights.

The DJ waves and makes a facetious remark over the microphone. It takes the usual ten minutes to find the staff room key, which has inevitably disappeared. It takes another five minutes to sign the clocking on sheet, remove my coat and adjust the constricting bow tie. Now correctly attired in black shoes, black skirt, white blouse and bow-tie, I start work behind the bar.

The first hour goes very slowly. The main occupation after counting the float in the till is wiping down the bar and emptying the ashtrays. This monotony is only occasionally interrupted by a customer requiring service. This process continues until eleven o'clock. After elven people start coming into the club in dribs and drabs; then in a great tidal wave as the pubs below us close up for the night.

There are many different types of people who come up to the bar. There are the Dithers. This group of people, who have, in their anxiousness to come out drinking, inadvertently left their brains at home. A typical Ditherer will come to the bar and ask for 'half a lager and half a bitter. No that's not it. I'll have half a bitter and half a cider. No I'll have a bottle of Pils and half a cider.' After ten minutes they generally have decided they will just have a tomato juice.

The second group comes under the heading of 'I didn't ask you for that.' the customer comes to the bar and asks for a pint of lager and half a bitter. When the drinks are placed on the count the reaction is 'What's this I asked for a half a cider.' this can be very infuriating.

The next group is 'If I move away from the bar it might collapse.' This is without doubt one of the most frustrating groups of people who come to the bar; for the simple reason they never leave it. This makes it impossible to serve properly as there are only certain areas of the bar where the customers can come to.

The fourth group I have entitled 'The Screaming Harpies.' This is designated to the groups of women who stand screaming at the bar for service. They seem blissfully oblivious to the fact that they are not the only ones that want service.

Another interesting group is not made up of the customers but of the staff. The door staff or as they are more commonly known 'The Bouncers' are quite unique. These gentlemen are employed to ensure that there is no trouble in the night club. However when a fight breaks out they see more interested in who is likely to win than if they should separate the people involved.

There is a special group of people that appear exclusively on a Sunday night. This group of people we have affectionately nicknamed 'The Vultures.' On a Sunday night there are special offers. Between 9 o'clock and 9.15 and 10 o'clock and 10.15 on certain drink if you buy one you get one free.

'The Vultures.' generally enter the club at 9.30 but will not buy a drink until 10 o'clock. They hover around the bar and when it reaches 10 o'clock they flock to the bar in herds screeching for their free drinks.

All these groups inter-wound with other delight such as slippery floors running out of glasses and all the lager and cider pumps going off together at the busiest time of night all combine together to make ' The Joys of Bar work.'

Social Experiment Results

Well it has been a whole month since I started my Social Experiment and it has certainly been an eye-opener. I knew it wouldn't be easy but I didn't expect it to be quite as difficult as I found it. I never realised how much responsibility I took on the behalf of people whether asked for or off my own bat.

Indeed I have been doing this for so long it is nigh on impossible to stop. Have you ever been told by a friend that you should just say no or that your overdoing it? I know I have and I admit I mostly say yes I am trying to take it easy. However I never actually took stock of what I was actually doing.

To actually make a conscious effort to restrain myself from what I might normally do has been pretty exhausting. It has been like an itch I cannot scratch. It was not too bad at the beginning of the month but after a week or two I was emotionally see-sawing. One moment when something hadn't been done I would give an amused smile and (yes I know it's not very mature) a look of triumphant superiority of I told you so. Next I would be snappy and want to throttle somebody and scream 'For God's Sake why can't you just get on and do it.

This might sound strange to people but the only thing I can try and equate this with is a form of addiction. If you smoke imagine going cold turkey and not smoking for a month or if your on a diet spending a months work experience in a chocolatiers. The only problem is unlike those two examples there are no patches, gum or low fat options to take the edge off.

So am I saying that I am addicted to helping people? Well I am not sure I would go that far but I certainly take on responsibilities that I perhaps shouldn't. Therefore why do I do so? Am I a natural leader? Have I been trained into this habit over the years? Am I just an interfering although well meaning busybody Or is it that I feel that if I don't do it then it won't get done? Or maybe it is partly all of them?

I have to say that I don't know the answer. Nobody sees themselves as others do. All I know is that the past month was extremely difficult. By the end I had developed a mantra – Just wait till June – Just wait till June. I have to admit that when the clock clicked over on to June 1^st my mind, body and spirit gave a huge sigh of relief.

I no longer feel like a pressure cooker about to burst. However as I look over the past months events I wonder how much I will retain of the lessons I have learnt. After all Birthdays were forgotten, bins not put out and such like not done. Therefore it does reinforce the idea that if I don't do it then it doesn't get done.

How did you get on?